We wheeled the coffin down the aisle
The choir boys sweetly sang
The organ played a requiem
And once the church bell rang
Now he’d always been a quiet man
Not given to a spree
So we stood alone to bury dad
Mi poor old ma and me

Chorus

Then all his other wives came in
Weeping down the aisle
We had to fetch in extra chairs
They queued for half a mile
They came from near
They came from far
They filled up every pew
He must have been a Mormon
But mi mother never knew
Then all his other wives came back
To share co-op ham tea
And they brought a lot of kids with them
That looked a lot like me

He was a travelling salesman
And he worked in ladies tights
We thought it was his proper job
Not what he did at night
Although we’d known him thirty years
But you still would never guess
That when he had some time to spend at home
Why he needed so much rest

Now the priest was old and feeble
And he made a bad job worse
When he tried to marry mother
To the man who drove the hearse
One wife phoned to ask us
Were we going to cremate
And could they keep him on a low light
As she thought she might be late

One wife was only my age
She’d a warm look in her eye
She said you look so like your dad
It makes me want to cry
Now I only live in Peel Street
Come and see me by and by
For I’ve something that your father liked
He’d have wanted you to try